Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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