im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
