i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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