WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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