I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
