Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
