He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
