nut hugger
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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