Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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