It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
