Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Someone came in the potted fern
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
