its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
