Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
this just has baby written all over it
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
