Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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