the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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