are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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