I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
