Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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