Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
