I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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