I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
