By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
