2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
