Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm just crazy horny about you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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