your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
