Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
