i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
