yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
