I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
