I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
