Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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