You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
