I got her a Nickelback box set.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
