If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
