I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize
