there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We need to get me chipped asap
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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