what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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