your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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