office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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