I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
