So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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