booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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