just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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