K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
