I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
