Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The Olympian is in my bed
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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