why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
