I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
smell my finger.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
