Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
