I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
