DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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